It was early spring. The kind when the sun might shine yet the wind will still creep in and icily caress your bones.
I walked up to the backstage entrance of an old theatre. Thinking, with a racing heart, “what have I got myself into?”
That night, I performed my first monologue in room full of strangers.
I didn’t choose the monologue, yet it was personal, it was raw and I was overcome with emotion - I cracked. From that moment, completely vulnerable on stage, I fell in love with acting.
I love acting because when you act - you tell the truth.
I thought I couldn’t act because I’m not that good at intentionally lying. But it turns out that even while pretending to be another person the emotions are real.
You still got to do you.
It’s the same for music and songwriting. We tell stories.
But the power of a song is how real the emotions are behind the words.
“You” is one of the most personal songs I’ve released. It’s about love. Shocker, right?
It’s an optimistic love song - and funnily enough I finished it while feeling (quite brutally) bruised and rejected
(and isn’t it funny - the same situation was what drove me to acting. As life is)
I had just kind of crawled out of the hole of despair I’d been clinging to. I was eager to feel good again but not only that. I was eager to allow myself to feel love. Unconditionally.
When I say unconditionally I mean as as in “I love you and I feel love no matter how you feel about me. No matter what the circumstances look like, or how it will be received”.
We’re taught, by books and film, that love has to be requited. It if it’s not, it’s either because we’re not the leading lady/man in our own movie (as in = there’s something wrong with us) or we should be depressed and heartbroken about it (because hey, if you don’t validate me I should crumble right?)
BUT here’s the thing.
It’s what Bob Goff says: If you love with an agenda, it’s not really love.
When I think about it, I’ve always felt most love and most excited by it when I didn’t really “care” what I would get from the other person.
I love dogs.
One of the reasons is that they shower people with love, without asking for much in return.
They don’t withhold, they don’t pout, they don’t make it conditional: “ I will love you but only if you do x,y,z for me”. Sure they’ll expect food and an occasional walk, but the kind of love they come running towards you with, they just give it. Without fear.
That thing, loving without hesitation, without worrying if I’m good enough or not for you, that kind of love..
That’s what “You” is about.
Because in that kind of love there’s freedom. And power.
Listen to “You” on Spotify or Youtube. If you enjoy it, please like/share/comment.